GREG GUTFELD: This is my theory on why Bernie Sanders beat President Biden
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Happy Thursday everyone. It’s Thursday, I believe. I don’t know where I am. So, according to a new poll, Bernie Sanders had the highest favor rating among 23 potential 2024 presidential candidates, a bit like winning first place in an ugly baby contest. But here’s how Bernie celebrated.
Yeah. It’s amazing that he can still move so fast, but he gets a lot of exercise running between his many houses, as he had about three houses. If you didn’t know that, that’s why you didn’t laugh. I understand. We will edit this. It’s true that 46% of respondents said they had at least a somewhat favorable opinion of Sanders, but 41% said they had an unfavorable opinion and the rest asked what is that smell?
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Now I do the math on that, but it’s usually for Kat’s benefit and she’s still on her honeymoon. I say. I think we have a tape of that.
To be young and in hatred. So what does it say about politics when the oldest, hairiest, left-wing person is the most popular candidate and it’s not Hillary? And yes, she is hairy, in one piece she looks like George ‘The Animal’ Steele. It was for you, Tyrus.
Bernie even beat the current president. I think we have footage of him.
How can you laugh at that? It’s awful. You are horrible, huh. Trying to report news and people. So anyway, Biden’s unfavorable rating was also much higher, at 52%. Joe Biden is so unpopular monkeypox sent him a thank you note. Joe Biden is more unpopular than Ben and Jerry’s new flavor, peanut butter and pork. And even though he’s a year older, Bernie looks younger than Joe. Maybe because he’s not catching a new COVID case every 15 minutes. But to be fair, Bernie also beat Vice President Kamala Harris, which isn’t saying much. Isn’t it, Kamala?
She is the one who responds to the news that a nun has been hit by a bus. I say. It’s disgusting. She would find the mass murder hilarious, then bail out the murderer.
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So why is Bernie still popular? Well, first of all, the media is lenient with him, they don’t lavish his beliefs on poker. So, like any good socialist, he waits and gets a free ride. But it’s also on us voters, who tend to find the economy boring. And unfortunately, it’s the boring stuff, you know, that kills you. But what? Stop that. But I have a theory. I call it the old man theory. That’s what I call most of my theories, actually. That no matter how bad someone is at something, we forget about it once their hair turns white. Which could be the secret to Anderson Cooper’s career.
Remember when you were growing up, everyone’s grandparents were magical. But they can’t be that great, some had to be jerks, right? At least 10% of these adorable silver-haired sweethearts were probably creeps 30 years ago. But age makes people more benign. That’s why every time you see an ex-con on death row you’re like “oh, he can’t be that bad. He’s got cropped white hair and librarian glasses, perfect for the commission. parole. Because how could this 78-year-old man possibly hurt anyone? He could barely lift a chainsaw now.
Well, it’s not about now. It’s about then. You know, back in the ’80s, when this old man was in his thirties dismembering hitchhikers in the back of his Jeep Wagoneer. They were really spacious back then. Try to find a hybrid with that kind of cargo space, huh? Sometimes you could put two, three if they were dwarves, but I digress. Now, I’m not saying Bernie Sanders is a serial killer, but I’m not saying Bernie Sanders is a serial killer. I’ll let you decide. But if he’s not, why would he need to wear those gloves? Just ask a question.
But aging softens you, with a few notable exceptions of course. It would take more than age to make her likeable, maybe a blood transfusion and send her face to the dry cleaners. So maybe it’s time to put aside the belief that with age comes mellowed wisdom.
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Joe Biden proved that was not the case. He was a jerk then and he’s even more of a jerk now. Aging had the same effect on him as the scorching sun on an uncovered bowl of egg salad. Except now, the things Joe says about millions of Americans make his old age seem angrier and meaner as he divides and separates us, like his 1980s comb. Yeah, look at that. You know, it’s amazing how he’s managed to regrow all his hair since then. How did he do that?
But getting old for Joe is not the same for Bernie. It’s the anger that Joe has against people. It’s something Sanders understands that Joe doesn’t. The voters are not the problem. It is the politicians and the leaders who push them. You shouldn’t be angry with the people you serve, especially when you’re barely consistent to begin with.
The problem with Bernie is that his politicians suck more than Brian Stelter trying to drink a McDonald’s milkshake through a crazy straw. I say. I know he’s gone, but I still can’t let go.
And if you want to talk about Russian collusion, look at the man who spent his honeymoon in the USSR. No wonder the Soviets collapsed a year later. Once a socialist, always a socialist, no matter what age. This is because of certain costs. Once you’ve believed in the worst ideas for decades, it’s impossible to let go, no matter how many times you’ve been wrong. You have already invested time.
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So, for Bernie, socialism is like a collection of baseball cards that you just can’t throw away. He may look like a nice grandpa and he smelled one from his hippy days, but Bernie’s politics don’t bring us hard candy from a dish on the table. low. They are going through tough times with his most destructive left-wing nonsense yet to come.