September 1, 2000
My experience at WisCon suggested to me that although doing a reading may be an inefficient method of recruiting new converts, it is at least amusing for the faithful. With that in mind, I suggested organizing a WOF reading at WorldCon, which at one point looked as if it would gather no fewer than 7 WOFsters in one place. As it turned out, Jennifer and Katherine both bagged; but Laura, Ariana, Cynthia, Freddie, and Joan all made the trek out to the Windy City for Chicon 2000. I couldn't actually attend the con--the day job made this highly impractical--but I am nevertheless grateful to it for luring so many of WOF's staunchest allies out to my neck of the woods for what was, from my perspective anyhow, a rootin' tootin' good time.
After working in Liza's office all day, we went out to Reza's to meet the gang. We realized on the way there that poor Jay would be the only one who had no idea what the others looked like. However, it turned out he had identified the rest of the party thanks to Laura's WOF T-shirt (and perhaps to Joan's full-length cape, a garment I spent most of the evening envying). We went up to the "large parties" section of Reza's, where the waiters tried unsuccessfully to interest us in the gratuitously overpriced "family menu." (I think if they really want to push this thing they should try to make it cheaper than ordering single dishes...but nobody wants to be told their business.) At one point Jay innocently posed the question, "Who would you cast in the WOF movie?", unleashing a barrage of pre-formed and well-supported conflicting opinions. While the question of who will play Lythril remains fundamentally unsettled, Jay settled a different uafach freagair in a single suggestion that Joan has hailed elsewhere as a stroke of genius: Keanu Reeves as Maerin. Coutnerintuitive as it at first seemed, I have now become attached to this notion, and hope that nobody else will be offered the part first.
Once we finally got out to the Hyatt Regency and up its extremely tall tower in its extremely overtaxed elevator (during which time Jay had his first close encounter with fandom, which seemed to have left him slightly traumatized) we made it to Laura, Ariana and Joan's sumptuous penthouse suite. Well, OK, it wasn't actually a suite...but it had enough seating space for everyone. Having gotten all the way up there, I discovered we had left the tape recorder in the car; Liza and Ariana volunteered to go down to the bowels of the Hyatt parking garage and get it, and off they went. They were gone rather a long time, during which interval Laura showed off the Women On Fire business cards she had made up (Laura is wasted at her day job, I tell you). I also went through the pile of excerpts that people had requested and solicited opinions about which ones to cut, since as I explained, if I read them all, it would kill everyone. Eliminated with regret were Daire's haling-out from Another Country ("kind of depressing," as Joan put it) and the scene between Theamh and Barant in Barant's office at the end of Taken Child (too long). Then Liza and Ariana returned bearing the tape recorder and a Sara Lee frozen poundcake and cutlery, which they had purchased in the convenience store located in the Hyatt Regency Underground City. Liza had been wistfully wishing all day long that we had, as she put it, "something to put the whupass on," and I think everyone was glad that she followed her heart and got it. While the poundcake was put in the sink to soften up, I started the ritual distribution of the whup-ass, which the gang insisted I tape for posterity. This is how we came to discover that Joan was under the impression that it was July, for some reason...anyhow, I had previously bought 6 cans of Reddi-Whip and made up one for each shriia plus one with Lythril on it because Jay wanted Lythril on his whupass (I'd be afeared to have her in the house, but Jay's a brave man). I distributed them to their rightful owners and then started the reading.
The way it ended up working was that I would read a chunk, we'd break for a while, and then when people felt like another chunk I would do the next excerpt. After the vigil fight scene, which had been requested by Laura (and which Freddie is always ready to hear) we broke out the pound cake and people slathered it with their hyagleach and ate it. Then I read the escape from Greenhaven, which I had never read out loud before. I was surprised at how much fun it was. It was nice having Freddie and Ariana there, neither of whom had read that part of the series, and who were able to respond with the appropriate surprise at the twists. I'm always interested to see where people laugh. A lot of the time people laughed at stuff that I hadn't really tried to make funny, but is just Theamh being Theamh, or Aine being Aine. I'm still touched by the affection people have for these characters, and that little laugh of recognition that came out when one of them would do something typical.
Unfortunately the batteries in the tape recorder started dying when I was reading the courtroom scene from Darkness Bright, which is too bad because that's my favorite thing in the whole series to read. I can remember when I read it to Liza the first time, and how much she liked it. I do feel a little bad for enjoying doing Lythril's voice...but if you're ever going to root for her, it's during that scene. However, on the tape the whole episode is hardly frightening at all, because the tape was turning slower and slower as I was reading, which means that when you play it back at normal speed, my voice gets faster and higher as we go along, so that by the time Lythril is deep into her testimony she sounds like she's been doing helium shots, and the audience sounds like a group of tittering chipmunks.
However, in person it all came off very well. After a brief round of casting the movie, during which I turned off the tape when the discussion of who to play Ulnach became blackmail material (but not before I had the opportunity to discover that, on the tape, Joan really honestly does sound like one of the Chipmunks, it's quite uncanny), we relapsed into regular conversation, including an extremely long group disquisition on Farscape during which I took the opportunity to lie down and have a short nap. It was another hour or so before I decided we had to get home before I turned into a pumpkin, so I read the last excerpt, which was Breaking the Chain (from Darkness Bright.)
It really is a shame the tape died before that one, because it was the only really serious section I read, and it would have been nice to have it recorded for posterity. On the other hand, it's maybe just as well that my singing was not captured on tape. In my head, the songs for that rite sound like choral a capella music in four-part harmony; when I sing them, they sound very puny and sad. But Liza had never heard the tune for that one, so she was glad I went for it. It's always been easier for me to be funny than serious, and one of the things I'm grateful for about writing WOF is that it allowed me to do both things, and that people appreciate both sides of it.
There was really no way to top that one, so we packed up and went home. We were sad to leave everyone behind, but I look forward to luring everyone back to WisCon next year (come on, Joan...you know you want it...you too, Laura...). Y'all's continued support means a lot to me, and even if you weren't wrangling agents in the halls of the Hyatt for me just on your own intiative, for which I must thank Laura and Joan one more time, I would still be really grateful to y'all just for reminding me that I'm not crazy to think WOF is important. Thanks to everyone for coming out, and I hope next time I can read from the galley proofs.
Slan abhaile,
Susan