It's happened to you so often. Some guy sees your "That's Why I'm A Feminist" T-shirt, comes over to you, and starts talking about how it hurts him to see the patriarchy oppressing people the way it does, and how committed he is to gender equality in the workplace, and how angry he gets when he hears all those men in suits on Capitol Hill talking about reproductive rights like they know something about it, and by the way he finds you both intelligent and very attractive, and can he have your phone number?
And all the time you're thinking, "OK, this jerk talks the talk...but is this the real him, or is he merely one of those assholes who pretends to be all sensitive and consciousness-raised right up to the point where you sleep with him, whereupon he suddenly morphs into the rampant, snorting pig that he is?" Well, now you can put him to the test! Follow this simple procedure:
1. Email him WOF and make him read it.
If he fails to complete step 1, dismiss him from further consideration. If he makes it all the way through the series,
2. Administer the
The test was originally designed for use by women on straight men, but is adaptable to other situations.
REALLY.
1. If Lythril started coming onto you, you would:
a) Bring her to her knees with my awesome sexual prowess.
b) Make her crawl for it.
c) Play along with her until I could rise up and slay her.
d) Run. Run like the wind.
2. Theamh loves Istria because:
a) Theamh doesn't know what it's like with a *real* man.
b) Like all women, Theamh needs someone stronger to protect her.
c) Istria's got a great ass and doesn't wear a bra.
d) Fuckin' A, man! Who wouldn't?
3. Istria loves Theamh beacuse:
a) She's her ticket out of Greenhaven.
b) Lythril hexed her with the dreaded lesbian whammy.
c) Hooters. Definitely hooters.
d) Fuckin' A, man! Who wouldn't?
4. Ethir loves Theamh because:
a) He's desperate.
b) Like all men, Ethir needs someone weaker to protect.
c) He's got a hreapa fetish.
d) Like myself, Ethir is attracted to strong, smart, loud women, no
matter what their size and shape.
5. If Lara asked you to dance at a nightclub, you would:
a) Hurl.
b) Feign deafness.
c) Explain that she's not your type, not that there's anything wrong
with that.
d) It would depend on what song was playing.
6. Would you sue the Daughters of Amranth in order to force them to accept male members?
a) Huh huh. You said male member.
b) Of course! This kind of reverse discrimination cannot go
unpunished.
c) No. I don't want to be in an army with a bunch of *girls* in it.
d) No. I don't think men could ever kick that much ass.
7. Should the Amranthian Army be forced to accept women?
a) Only if they were hot and dressed like Xena.
b) No. It would interfere with unit cohesion.
c) Of course! This kind of discrimination cannot go unpunished.
d) No. If the Daughters get their own army, then so do the sons.
8. You were psyched to see Theamh and Istria finally make it because:
a) It's hot 2-girl action!
b) FINALLY. Now we can get on with the battle scenes.
c) I've always wanted to know what two women do in bed together.
d) It's so beautiful! *snif!*
9. Your reaction to the Taric/Keanrih stable loft scene in *Better To Burn* can best be summed up as:
a) HURL!
b) It'd be a lot hotter if they were both doing Sioanna instead of doing each other.
c) Oh, I skipped that part.
d) It's so beautiful! *snif*
10. If someone asked you what "Women On Fire" is, you would say:
a) I dunno, some shit my girlfriend made me read.
b) It's this long bitchy feminist rant with some cool battle scenes in
it.
c) It's all about this hot chick in leather named Lythril.
d) I don't really know what it is, but whatever it is, it kicks ass.
SCORING: 2 points for every d) answer, 1 for every c) answer, 0 for every b) answer, and subtract one for every a) answer.
15-20 points: Go for it!
10-15 points: It's up to you, but a probationary period might be wise.
1-10 points: Definitely Cretid Nation material.
0 to minus 10 points: This tool of the patriarchy is fit only for a cabinet post in Dubya's
administration.