Results of the Plaidder Fashion Poll

Post-Next Generation Fashion Police Roundup

I took a poll of subscribers to the Star Trek Listserv just after "All Good Things" regarding fashions work by regulars and non-regulars during the seven years of *Star Trek: The Next Generation.* Here are the results from the Definitive Post-TNG Fashion Police Roundup:

SINGLE MOST HEINOUS FASHION CRIME--Male Apparel

Men's fasion in the 24th century would appear to be one long, universe-wide nightmare of blunders and bad ideas. The votes were dispersed over a broad spectrum, leaving the category inconclusive. However, there were some trends:

Riker fared poorly. His outfit from *Angel One* was the only specific costume to receive multiple votes. Others voted for Riker "in anything" whatsoever.
Beginning a trend that will continue throughout the poll, the Romulans came in for some bashing.
Other nominees included Q's civilian outfit in Q-Less, Jake Sisko's "entire wardrobe," Picard's "Speedos," and Worf's date outfits.

SINGLE MOST HEINOUS FASHION CRIME--Female Apparel

Here, again, the voting was dispersed, but dominated by what appears to be a collective loathing of Betazoid couture. The House of Troi garnered most of the nominations, the "puke grey" non-regulation "bell-bottom" jumpsuit Deanna wore pulling into the lead. Other Troi confections nominated included Lwaxana's banquet dress from "Haven," the evil Deanna's "slut" wardrobe from "Man of the People," and the dress Deanna wore before her abduction in "Menage a Troi."

Honorable mention: Dr. Crusher's dress from the final scene of "Attached," Guinan's hats, and of course the Romulans.

SINGLE MOST HEINOUS FASHION CRIME--Male Hairdo/Makeup

First Prize: The Romulan Bowl Cut. Honorable mentions: Cardassian "hair," the beardless Riker, Riker's old-guy makeup from "All Good Things," and Worf's first season "do."

SINGLE MOST HEINOUS FASHION CRIME--Female Hairdo/Makeup

First Prize: Troi's first-seaons bun. Whether they called it the pincushion, the lightning-rod, or the brioche, these voters were angry. Several also complained about the lavender eyeshadow, the eyeliner that was apparently applied by the quart, and the lip gloss. Honorable mentions: Lwaxana's red wig from "The Forsaken," Madame Archon from "Tribunal," Ro Laren in "Preemptive Strike."

BEST-LOOKING CIVILIAN OUTFIT

Tie for first prize: Kira's blue evening gown from "Crossover" and Dr. Crusher's '40s getup from "The Big Goodbye." Third prize: Picard's Indiana Jones ensemble from "Captain's Holiday." Honorable mentions: Vash "in anything," Kira's racquetball jumpsuit from the opening scene of "Collaborator," and the alternate Kira's black latex catsuit in "Crossover."

INDIVIDUAL WITH WORST OVERALL TASTE IN CIVILIAN CLOTHING--Male

Tie for first prize: Miles O'Brien and Wesley Crusher. ("Tribunal" apparently really turned a few stomachs.) Third Prize: Will Riker and the "pirate look." Honorable mentions: Dr. Soong, Captain Picard.

INDIVIDUAL WITH WORST OVERALL TASTE IN CIVILIAN CLOTHING--Female

First prize, with knobs on: Lwaxana "is-it-a-dress-or-a-disco-ball" Troi. Honorable Mentions: Ro Laren, Guinan, Deanna Troi, Beverly Crusher, the entire TNG design staff.

INDIVIDUAL WITH BEST OVERALL TASTE IN CIVILIAN CLOTHING--Male

First prize: Jean-Luc Picard. Hey, he's French, he can't help it. Honorable mentions: Quark, the future Data from "All Good Things," Data's 19th Century outfit in "Time's Arrow," Q, and Geordi.

INDIVIDUAL WITH BEST OVERALL TASTE IN CIVILIAN CLOTHING--Female

First prize: Kira Nerys, by a landslide. Second Prize: Beverly Crusher. Honorable Mention: Lwaxana and Deanna (there's no accounting for taste...)

ALIEN CULTURE WITH BEST OVERALL FASHION SENSE

The Bajorans, period. Honorable mentions: The Romulans, the Q.

ALIEN PLANET TO WHICH GOD SENDS BAD FASHION DESIGNERS AFTER THEY DIE

Rubicon III, the Planet of the Jogging Blonde Bimbos (a.k.a. "Justice"), was the clear favorite here, narrowly edging out Romulus, Planet of the Joan Crawford Look-Alikes. Honorable mentions: Betazed, the Ferengi homeworld, Klingon homeworld.

BEST-LOOKING FEDERATION MILITARY UNIFORM

First prize: Klingon. Second Prize: Starfleet uniform from Star Trek II through Star Trek VI. Third prize: Romulan (even though the Romulans are not, of course, in the Federation.) Honorable mentions: Crusher's future uniform in All Good Things, Bajoran.

WORST-LOOKING FEDERATION MILITARY UNIFORM

First Prize: Pajama look from Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Second Prize: Romulan (again, not in the Federation, but clearly there are some people out there who feel very strongly about Romulan fashion, one way or the other) and the minisuit from "Encounter at Farpoint." Honorable mention: Bajoran, original series Starfleet uniforms, first-season TNG jumpsuit, the Borg.

BEST-LOOKING IN A FEDERATION MILITARY UNIFORM

First-place tie: Kira Nerys and Deanna Troi. Second place: Benjamin Sisko. Honorable mentions: Kh'eylar, Dax, Bashir, guy who walked past the principals in a corridor during "Encounter at Farpoint" wearing a mini.

WORST-LOOKING IN A FEDERATION MILITARY UNIFORM

First prize: Odo. Second Prize: Wesley Crusher. Honorable mention: Worf, Data, Dr. Pulaski, Tasha Yar, Deanna Troi.

FASHION TREND YOU HAVE NOTICED IN THE FUTURE THAT YOU WOULD MOST LIKE TO SEE IN TODAY'S CLOTHING

First prize: Creative use of bright, solid colors. Honorable mentions: individuality, Picard's line of outdoor wear, disposable clothing with replicated replacements, the jumpsuit.

FASHION TREND YOU HAVE NOTICED IN THE FUTURE THAT MAKES YOU HOPE YOU DON'T LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO HAVE TO SEE REAL PEOPLE WEARING IT

First prize: The Jumpsuit. Fear it. Second prize: Skin-tight clothing. Honorable mentions: Vedek headgear, "Hats by Guinan," Betazoid dresses, and solid-color uniforms.

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