Blame Florida

BLAME FLORIDA

by The Plaid Adder
Comments:plaidder@mindspring.com

Note: There are many, many "Blame Floridas" circulating on the Internet; I only wrote one of them. I revised it slightly for posting here.

PETER JENNINGS:

It's Wednesday now
The whole thing should be done
And yet there's still a chance that either of them could have won!

COKIE: Should we blame the candidates?
SAM:Or blame society?
STEPHANOPOULOS: Or the media who projected wrong on TV?

PETER JENNINGS:

No!
Blame Florida!
Blame Florida!
With their messed-up ballots and flapping heads
And their crooked governor Jeb
Blame Florida!
Blame Florida!
If it's still too close to call,
It's all Florida's fault.

RALPH NADER:

Don't blame me
That it's so close
When Dubya's got the I.Q. of a leaky garden hose
Is it our fault
That our country hates the poor,
Or that Al is such a smarmy corporate whore?

GREENS:

No!
Blame Florida!
Blame Florida!
It seems everything was great
Till it became the linchpin state
Blame Florida!
Blame Florida!

BUCHANAN:

I don't want Gore's nasty voters anyway.

THE VOTERS:

We could have had McCain or else Bill Bradley brave and true,
Instead you gave us Al Gore and this asshole double-u,
Should we blame Republicans?
Should we blame the Dems?
Or blame the friggin' electoral college system?

No!
Blame Florida!
Blame Florida!
With their Elian hullabaloo
And that bitch Maryselis too
Blame Florida!
Blame Florida!
The count must be done,
The race must be run,
The votes must be in,
And George must not win,
We must complain and make a scene
Before we have to give it to the Greens!

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